So I am starting to write this post on the same day I published my last one. I kind of came home from camp with a lot to say… So congratulations! I actually have content.
And yes, that means I just got off my Biblical/love rant and I’m kind of wrung out. But this is something else very important to me and I don’t want to forget about it. I also don’t know if I have talked about this before…
If I have, it bears repeating.
And actually, no. I’m not done yet with my rant. I knew I’d forget something…
So I have been taking advantage of my days off and hiding in my room away from people basically pretending that the last week didn’t happen and that I am alright. And I have also been thinking. (thus all of these posts…)
This one won’t be as long, I promise. This is more of just an observation on the religious differences between Protestantism and Catholicism.
Have a gratuitious cat picture, because I like it. And I still can’t get the picture of Jane out of my head in regards to the ‘presence of the lord touching us’ at camp.
So I have been watching many videos and reading many articles, and something I have stumbled across a lot is that the Bible was written at least two thousand years ago, and was a product of those cultures. That as the times have changed and science and culture have changed, the Bible has not and so it is outdated.
And anyone who has read, say, Leviticus (or that is one the preists, how about Exodus – that is better, right?) knows that there are things in the Bible that definitely no longer apply.
Anyone who wears braids know that there are things we no longer reference as literal.
Now, I’m not going to get into what is outdated and what is not, but….
How does one know which parts are outdated and which are still applicable? Should we braid our hair or not? Should we stone our rebellious kids or not? Should we force girls to marry their rapists or not?
…alright, so I am choosing the obvious ones. But if every word is inspired by God for doctrine and instruction and reproof then as long as we can neither add nor take away from the Bible, surely that means every word. And if we are under Grace and not the Law, then that verse doesn’t apply to us since ‘Scripture’ in that time period was only the Law.
So how can we know?
And it just kind of hit me on how necessary the Magesterium is. (Come on, you knew where I was going…) It isn’t that we can’t be trusted to think, it is that all humans are easily tempted and that only God is perfect. It is that by the time we are old enough to interpret the Bible (as Protestants) we definitely no longer have a well-formed conscience, and that is even assuming our conscience is only scarred by our own sin and no misinformation. It’s because every human has different temptations and different perspectives and even if we were all honest in our ‘interpretations’, sooner or later, we start to divert.
As is obvious by the hundreds of denominations and sects.
And God knew this. Just like he knew everything else – he knew this. So he left behind a system – he didn’t just abandon us and tell us ‘well, I was with you for three years. Sure hope you were paying attention and took notes! Oh, you didn’t? Oh well. Good luck figuring out what’s real then! See you when I come back!’
No. He didn’t. he knew they didn’t take notes, and he never told them to write it down. He knew everything – he would have told them to write everything down if they were expected to rely on written words. In fact, they would have known to write it down after the ressurection if that was what was expected – look at the historian Luke. It wasn’t impossible to track the information down.
No. They weren’t expected to to go by a written record – that wasn’t how they had ever done it, and they saw no reason to start then. Even though Judeaism had the written Torah and Prophets and so forth, they were expected to memorise it. to be able to recite it from heart. I’m sorry, I can barely remember all of Psalm 23 – I can’t imagine learning the whole, dry, boring, lawful Torah. Sorry. No. They have my respect. But they memorised it because they weren’t meant to just rely on their written Scriptures. I mean, even look at how many times they lost the law.
So Christianity picked up from the tradition of Tradition from Judeaism, and carried it on. Most of the New Testament wasn’t finished until almost a century after the Ressurection, and wasn’t even canonised until even later. Christianity runs on Tradition, and it still does. it is meant to. And that is how we know which parts of the Bible are applicable. That is how we know what the Bible means. God speaks to us through the Magesterium on those issues, and he sets Dogma out that is his perfect will.
And it just amazes me how much sense Catholicism makes – how much God….he cared for us so much that he set up a system that would help us when he was not right there to point out how stupid we were being. (Alright, I need to work on my deprecation, I’m awares….) it is so amazing and I love how logical it is. I love how kind it is. I love how clear it is – how considerate it is of how different we are as humans. Because as humans we are all unique. We are all different. We all have different strengths and different doubts and different trials and sure, okay, we aren’t completely different. There are types of people – but you get my point. My experience with Catholicism is that it takes into consideration all types of people – those who want answers, and those who want faith. Those who want logic, and those who want emotions. Those who want grandeur, and those who want simplicity. It is amazing, and I love it.
Maybe not that…..fakely.
Anyway! Moving on to my original point for this post.
I. Am. Valuable.
Perhaps this isn’t news to others, and it technically isn’t news to me but… I have made the decision to own it. I am valuable. I am worth something. I am of interest. I do not own anyone an apology for existing and I certainly don’t owe anyone an explanation for myself. Yes, I am a bit perverted. Yes, I have a decidedly cynical view on life. Yes, my standards for my entertainment are low. Yes, my interests are a bit dated and macabre. Yes, I’m loud. Yes, I can contradict myself. Yes, I am trying to figure out what I believe. Yes, I am trying to figure out what I am. Yes, I am a mess.
But you know what? All that does not invalidate my worth. Whether or not you agree with me does not mean that I do not deserve your consideration. Whether or not you like me does not mean that I don’t deserve basic respect and civility.
See, I am not going to be a doormat. I do not owe anyone an apology for disagreeing with them. I do not owe anyone for bothering them with my existance. I do not owe anyone just an explanation for what I am. I am what I am, and if you want no part of me then that is your loss. It is not on me. It is not my fault if you don’t like me. I am a human like everyone else – I am a person like everyone else and I deserve the same rights as everyone else gets.
“I used to hold my freak back – now I’m letting go. I make my own choice; yeah I run this show. So leave the lights on – no you can’t make me behave. So you say I’m ‘complicated’. That I must be out my mind. But you’ve had me underrated…”
I am beautiful. I am smart. I have a purpose. I have a value. It isn’t on me if you don’t want to set aside time for me. It isn’t on me if you don’t value me. It’s not my fault.
I know enough about myself to be secure in that. I am asexual. I am aromantic. I am Catholic. I am feminist. I am Slytherin. I am a survivor. I am pretty. I will be whole. I will be happy. I will not let my past define me. I am worth it.
I am worth saving from abuse. I am worth spending time with. I am worth getting to know. I am worth putting up with. I am worth saving.
And no, this doesn’t mean that I have the right to be rude and uncivil to everyone around me, but it doesmean I have to stop supressing myself just to keep everyone happy around me. If me being myself means they want to leave – so be it. That is not on me. It was not a relationship that was healthy then, and losing a friend does not mean I am crippled. Not now.
Thank you.
The Things They Defend 